Some people really do forget what they wrote in the previous paragraph....

Now I don't think I am going mad or anything, but as I was walking past a neighbours house last night, I happened to look up at their flat roof.
Upon seeing a cat there I made some kind of sound to attract its attention. It was only as I walked further past that I noticed that it was not a cat, but the shadow from a satellite dish! Am I going mad? Most probably.

Whilst scouring the facebook today, searching for people from my old school I happened to come across this chap. Now, as someone who has achieved enlightenment you may think it beneath me to draw attention to something so utterly trivial, but I can't help myself. Not only is shamus an irish name, and this man is obviously from the colonies, but his surname is butt! Butt (gettit?) haha I lolled myself right out of bed when I saw this. LOL LOL LOL

On another more serious note, I also found this group on the faysebuke. It seems australians do think deeply at times, if only about things which inhibit their drinking.

If all you've got to think about is people taking away your ability to get absolutely blasted every night, you probably have a pretty sad life. 

I quote "Lockouts will have no tangible benefits, will have a devastating effect on the diversity of Melbourne’s nightlife, and will infringe on the public’s civil rights" 

Dumb australians. Dumb humans. Nuff said.

Regaining my sense of humour!

Hello folks. Well it seems as though I have been not quite myself recently (about 2 years ago apparently according to some sources) but I'm here to tell you that I am back - hopefully.
You see, I stopped my blog over a year ago because I thought that if people read my blog they may think that I was a bit of a nut, when I was trying to come across as a "serious" person aiming to change the world. But having read my book's proofs for the last time, I realise that I shouldn't be worrying about what people say about my blog, I should be worried what people will say about my book! If I think I will offend people with a few cheap jokes on the web, then wait till they read my views on religion, god, government, taxes, etc etc etc!

So I have decided to stop being so damn serious, after all, life's supposed to be a joyful affair, no? Just because you care about what other people are doing to themselves and each other doesn't mean you can't have a laugh! I realised that I was systematically ruining my whole life and was turning into an obsessive!

It also seems as though I am now attracting all the "serious" wierdo nuts into my life through my website - people I wouldn't ordinarily give one minute to. People who are now my best email buddies in the universe!

Yeah right! Well, as long as they start donating huge sums of cash towards my new yacht and bentley, then I will be anyone's friend.

So if you're troubled, afflicted, have psychological problems, are homeless, poor, or just plain ugly that is your fault, you should have bought the book.

(as told to Alan M Orr via the universal channel of the ponchoman. Alan M Orr accepts no responsibility for the content here. He is merely a "conduit" as the universal consciousness known as the ponchoman has no access to a pen)

this blog is dead long live this blog

well folks, i have just finished my book, its been a long road but well worth it. I am currently in Australia getting divorced, and getting a couple of friends to proof read my book. There are many challenges ahead, and i somewhat feel that this blog represents the past, not the present. so off it will go into merry cyber space never to be updated again, but don't worry you haven't heard the last of me. no sir.!!

take care out there and in the words of grandmaster flash

"its like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder how i keep from going under........"

Just before you eat the turkey

Now I am a reformed meat eater, which makes me a real pain in the ass to all my friends and family, and in fact anyone I go to dinner with.

I don't eat meat, dairy, eggs, honey. You name it, I don't eat it.

Whilst I cannot be bothered explaining why, cos I am very bad at explaining, please take the time to watch or download this movie.

If you could only see the suffering you would understand. Still most of you don't give a shit. Maybe I'm being a bit harsh, but then how will you become aware of reality when no one brings things to your attention?

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1282796533661048967

Albook - Status Update

5 Minutes ago - Opened a bottle of peroni
4 minutes ago - finished said bottle
3 minutes ago - burped
just a moment ago - took a piss

Its official...

Yes Sir, I think I'm an addict

No, not to crack, to ebay!

I just can't stop buying stuff!!

I don't care if its worth less than I'm bidding! As long as I win thats all that matters!